


monochrome

by o_shit_waddup



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Color Blindness, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Sad Dave, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8402671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_shit_waddup/pseuds/o_shit_waddup
Summary: Part 1: the different shades of grey blend like oil and water. it's like i'm living in an lamp, waiting for someone, anyone to let me out of this ceramic prison. Part 2: Sometimes, I wish the colours would come back to me.(or the one colourblind!dave fic absolutely no one asked for)





	1. achromatopsia

**Author's Note:**

> wow i DEEPLY apologize for writing this

i think the different shades of grey would blend perfectly to create a colour as black as midnight if he would dare spare me a glance when we’re not alone. two seconds of his day to look at me, to see who i truly am as a person. does he think he’s too good for me, for anyone but his little cult of beautiful people? am i not good enough for him?

he’s dating a blind girl, terezi pyrope. she’s the most beautiful girl i’ve seen in my 17 years of life. eyes as bright as the sun, teeth perfect and straight, curves to make marilyn monroe jealous, hair as black as the night sky, she’s the definition of a bombshell. she's perfect, too perfect.

terezi and i used to be friends. we talked for hours at times in middle school. i ranted to her about how much my life sucked and she ranted to me about how much being blind sucked. the connection was fueled by childhood and our mutual inability to see anything but grey. we fell out in ninth grade when she started dating karkat. i miss her, but… it hurts to see her with him.

i hate myself for loving him so much. the way he says my name makes me shiver. when we’re alone, he likes to grip my thighs, stare me deep in the eyes and tells me that i’m beautiful, and that my eyes are lovely, and that i’m beautiful no matter what shade of grey i see him as, and when he fucks me into his rickety, old couch, he tells me that he’ll leave terezi for me and that i’m the only one for him.

if he would bother to even say my name in classes, or during lunch, or even while we’re simply sitting, eating some pasta after he obliterates my asshole, i’d be obliged to do whatever he wants me to.

when he sees me in school, walking like i’m dying, he sneers and asks me why i look like a faggot and pushes me into a wall. i never respond to him. if i respond, he tells an old friend, john, jade or even sollux, that i’m boring and they shouldn’t talk to me.

sometimes, i wonder if terezi knows what we do when we’re alone, when there's nothing but grey and broken promises.

sometimes, i wonder if karkat knows it hurts every time he says my name.


	2. somber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2: Sometimes, I wish the colours would come back to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still regret writing this

“Hey, Terezi, I'll see you later,” Karkat pats my shoulder, his warm breath brushing my cheeks. “Dave wants me to help him do some homework.”

He’s lying. He’s not going to help Dave do anything but have an orgasm. My throat starts to constrict, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Remember to call me, okay?” I manage to spit out, clutching my walking cane.

“Okay.” He kisses me on the lips. He smells and tastes like Dave, peppermint and grey. I nearly choke.

“I Love you!” I listen to his footsteps as he leaves me in the cold.

“Love you too,” Tears finally decide to fall, hitting my cheeks and slipping to the ground beneath them. I let out a shaky breath.

Karkat must think I’m stupid. Does he think he can get away with treating me like a side chick? God damn it, just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I’m blind to what Karkat and Dave are doing.

I navigate myself through the snow, waving my walking cane in front of my feet. I push my sunglasses up on my nose, making sure they don’t fall onto the ground. God, I feel so stupid. Why am I still with him if I know that he’s cheating on me?

Whenever I talk to Vriska, she tells me things that I already know.

“If he’s cheating on you,” she would tell me. “then fucking break up with him. God damn it, Terezi, you’re smarter than this.”

I feel worthless whenever I think about him and Dave and what they do when they’re alone. Why can’t he kiss me like he kisses Dave? Why can’t he fuck me with the amount of passion he does with Dave? Why does he act like he’s not doing anything with him? Why?

My thoughts are killing me. I wish I could just turn my brain off and stop thinking. Stop breathing. Stop… living.

I crash into something rather violently.

“Shit!” The voice is nasally… John? “Fuck, my glasses!”

Yep, it’s John. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I kneel to the ground, trying to make a solid attempt at helping him find his glasses. The snow is cold.

“It’s okay, Terezi,” he sighs. “It wasn’t your fault.”

I listen to him pick something up from the ground. Must be his glasses.

“Hey, are you okay?” He helps me stand. “You seem kinda… off, I guess. Broken would be a better word.”

“I feel broken,” I whisper. “The grey is starting to fade. I feel numb, John, and for the first time in my life, I think I understand why.”

“Let’s go somewhere else, okay?” He mumbles. I nod.

John takes my arm and starts leading me somewhere. After a few minutes, he sits me down on a bench. I place my walking cane on my legs, hugging my knees.

“Go on, Terezi.” John sits on the bench. 

“For the past couple of years that I’ve been dating Karkat, I noticed that, overtime, he’s gotten less affectionate towards me and more affectionate towards Dave. It makes me feel worthless. If he wanted Dave, he would’ve broken up with me a long time ago, right? I guess Dave’s just his fuckbuddy when I’m not good enough.”

Even when I try to be better than what I already am, Karkat just… he treats me like I’m trash. Why can’t I ever be good enough for him? Why?” My breathing catches. I want to, need to cry, but I know if I cried, I wouldn’t be able to stop.

John hugs me from the side. My eyes widen, tears running down my cheeks.

“Terezi, oh my god,” He breathes. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” My smile is somber, lifeless and grey. “The colour faded out years ago.”


End file.
